Vicious Circle

 

Vicious Circle



Sadhana opened the door to her daughter Gauri's room and stepped inside. A kind of sad, hopeless silence filled her mind. It had been fifteen days to Gauri’s demise. Sadhana opened her closet. With that, memories of Gauri flashed in her mind. She let out her tears. The question had been harassing her again and again "At the early age of seventeen, what happened exactly, that Gauri wanted to end herself?"

Taking a close look at the neatly draped garments, she opened the drawer beneath. The drawer contained Gauri's hairpins, bands, and other accessories along with a diary.  She picked up the diary and overlooked its pages. In the diary, Gauri had made some notes by date. Sitting in a nearby chair, Sadhana began to read.


30/03/2018

Today is very boring. I even don’t have the mood to study. It seems that Mom may be late. What will she do? Due to year endings, she will have more work in the bank. If Dad would have been there, Mom would not have to do so much work. She works at home, in her office, managing my college hours. The only dream she has is that I should study and achieve something. And I will fulfill her dream. I will now open Facebook for a while to pass my time.

 

31/03/2018

Yesterday, Sahil sent a friend request on Facebook. I don't even know him. Mom says that I must not accept strangers’ friend requests. But he looks damn handsome in his profile photo! I couldn’t resist myself and accepted his request.

 

01/04/2018

After studying today, I had a long chat with Sahil on Facebook Messenger. He is damn interesting. I enjoyed a lot chatting with him.

 

02/04/2018

While chatting today, Sahil and I exchanged cell numbers. He immediately called me. He sounds like a bollywood hero. I know, Mom wouldn't like it at all but I won’t talk with him often.

 

04/04/2018

Yesterday I just studied. I didn’t even touch the cell phone. In fact, class 11th exams are over. But 12th classes have already started. I decided to study hard for 12th right from the beginning. Well, I want to perceive medicine after 12th. That's what mom wants too. Even today, I am controlling myself. If I go on Facebook, then it takes too much time as Sahil is always online. I feel guilty as Mom won’t like it and It’s a waste of study time. But how to resist myself? Okay, I will just go and see whether he’s online? If so, I’ll have chat with him only for five to ten minutes.

 

05/04/2018

I opened Facebook yesterday, as usual Sahil was online. I decided to chat for five to ten minutes, But I didn’t realize how an hour and a half passed away!  Half an hour ago, he made a video call. He seems quite older than he is on his FB profile. He is twenty-one years old, but so handsome! Cool and soft spoken too. He is willing to meet me at the CCD on JM Road next Sunday. I would love to meet him.

 

08/04/2018

Today we met in CCD. We had a long chat. His parents are from Nagar. He lives here in Pune, sharing a flat with three friends. He is studying in Third year of engineering. His passionate look about me went deep inside me. While he was speaking, he touched my hand and lightning flashed all over my body. I should confess that I love him. Yes… I'm in love with him!

 

14/04/2018

Nowadays I don’t even find time to write. Not even for study. I have not given any single class test this week. Only thing I remember is Sahil…. Sahil and just Sahil. Nothing else. We chat; make phone calls, video calls. I spend the rest of time with his thoughts. We met twice this week. And now we are meeting tomorrow at his apartment.

 

16/04/2018

Yesterday I went to meet Sahil at his flat. We were both there. He hugged me and kissed me on my forehead, cheeks and lips. Then slowly He lifted me and placed me on the bed. I was so overwhelmed with his love. I did not know when my clothes were removed. Ohhh ... I lost my virginity. Feeling slightly offended. But it was a heavenly experience. And after all we love each other. But... if mom came to know this...then?

 

30/04/2018

Nowadays, we meet at his flat. Pretty much two to three times a week. We can’t live without each other. We both have become passionate about sex. Today he caught a selfie video of our intimate moments, despite of my reluctance. He said that he'll watch it when he remembers me.

 

20/05/2018

Did mom come to know? She was asking that why didn't I appear for the class' weekly tests. She had received an SMS from class heads. She seemed quite worried and said looking at me. "You seem to be getting matured. Nowadays you don't even have time to talk to me. Do you have a load of study? Or anything else?” I could not even answer her properly.

 

25/05/2018

Oh god! How could He do this to me? He is a big cheater! My eyes are on fire today. My body’s private parts hurt a lot too. Today, Sahil with his friends physically exploited me. I am disgraced. I resisted, but he threatened me saying that He’ll send the video to my mother and upload it to the porn site too. Oh my god where am I stuck? How do I get out of this now? Don't want to tell all this to Mom as she feels very bad.

 

15/06/2018

In the last few days my body and soul has undergone with an awful trauma. Often Sahil and his three friends tortured me and broke my body's resilience. They show me dirty porn videos and get me to do the same. If I deny, they threaten to make those videos viral.

I should have listened to Mom and should not have accepted stranger Sahil’s friend request. The today’s scenario would be totally different. My life would be as straightforward as it used to be.  Mom, my friends and my study was once my world.  It was so secured and cool. I am responsible for my pitiable condition. I ignored everything good of my life and got stuck in this vicious circle. Now, to stop all this, there is only way; that is to end this disgusting life. Forgive me mom, but there seems to be no other way.

 Sadhana closed the diary. With Gauri's memory and the horrors she had experienced, she started crying. She decided to teach Sahil a lesson. She remembered that her friend and colleague Chita’s brother Vijay was in-charge of Pune Cyber cell.

She called Chitra and requested her to get a meeting with his brother Vijay. The next day, Sadhana and Chitra came to Vijay's office. Sadhana brought Gauri's diary and mobile phone. Sadhana told Vijay all the facts and requested to investigate the case as soon as possible. Inspector Vijay comforted her that he will personally deal with this matter as soon as possible.

Inspector Vijay first cracked Gauri's mobile password with a cyber security officer in his cell. Then He traced the IP address of the messages from Sahil on Facebook Messenger. Soon he found that location, within a month, Pune police traced and arrested Sahil and his three friends.

With Gauri’s untimely death, Sadhana was completely alone. Everything was meaningless for her. But seeing the demon behind bars, which was responsible for Gauri's suicide, she got some degree of justice for Gauri.


    ©Kavita Datar


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